New Year Sadness
by axelexa
Summary: New Year and people expects what was there to expect. What could Monica expect from the unexpected?


It has been the worst New Year. Just the start of New Year and life has taken away one of the greatest people in her life.

 _Yes, I do, I believe_

 _that one day I will be where_

 _I was right there,_

 _right next to you…_

She knew how great they would be together, yet life has to be in their way. New Year and an accident has occurred. New year and the brake pedal wouldn't work. New Year and her loved one's trapped in unconscious state. She blamed herself on why did they have to go to this stupid date, and not just stay at home, have some good coco. But no. . . Life had to be in their way and took Chandler away from her.

 _And it's hard_

 _The days just seems so dark_

 _The moon, the stars_

 _Are nothing without you_

Fortunately, he's just in a coma; unfortunately, he _is_ in a coma. Her happy days seemed over, for no one was their to give the joke of the day, no one to tell her how much she shines as bright as the moon and stars, no one to shine bright in her once-again dark world.

 _Your touch, your skin_

 _Where do I begin?_

 _No words can explain_

 _The way I'm missing you_

Day One (in the hospital) and she's already thinking of possibilities — overthinking. She missed their cuddles at night, at the Central Perk, at home. She missed his presence: the jokes, the little stupid-yet-cute actions, she missed a lot from him, yet she just can't identify which or what they are because she knew at some point, some of his actions annoyed her, but sometimes, she wonders what it would feel like if he does those actions again. _Maybe she misses all of him._

All these feelings are crapping her up and she knew she couldn't hold it anymore. The only person she knew she can cry out all these tears is him, and yet, how can she? But who can stop her anyway? She sat on his hospital bed, careful with the rubbers connected to him, and lied down beside him, hugging is unconscious, pale body as she broke down, wishing he'd wake up and that all these is just one big joke. Wishing until she finally falls asleep.

 _Can I lay by your side?_

 _Next to you, you_

 _And make sure you're alright_

 _I'll take care of you_

 _I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight_

Day 5 and it was very sweet of her to bring him flowers. She'd read him the book he wasn't able to finish, and tell her stories about how much the gang misses him. She'd tell how and when Joey cried in his audition because he wasn't there for him, how Ross is back with that depressing " _hi_ ", and how Rachel annoys Phoebe with "Has he woke up yet?".

 _I'm reaching out to you_

 _Can you hear my call?_

 _This hurt that I've been through_

 _I'm missing you, missing you like crazy_

Day 13 and she dreamt of him, _so alive, yet so … unfair._ She thought it was unfair that we can only have what we want only in our dreams. Why is it that it has been days and he still won't wake up? The doctors have been telling her "good news" that day by day, his healing gets better, and that he is in a good state… or better describe it as " _slightly better state_ ". _What is the good in the news if it isn't what I wanted to hear?_ She thought.

She walked towards his bed and held his hand. Not so long later, she felt a tiny action… or maybe a twitch of some sort coming from her hand. Her eyes enlarged, her mind wakened a little more, and she shook his shoulder, calling out for his name.

 _But still, no response._

She doesn't know if she's going crazy or if her mind was just playing tricks on her, but maybe he's woken up. Maybe he can hear her, but he just can't respond, and because of that, she called the doctors again.

The doctors, though, didn't believe her. A doctor informed that maybe she just needed rest and that she needs to go home, take a bath, sleep for some hours, and eat a proper diet. She declined and held her lover's hand, calling out for his name, saying "Please, please, twitch or rub your thumb in my palm or jerk again. Please. Please wake up."

 _But still, no response._

 _You told me not to cry when you were gone_

 _But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong._

And because of that, she broke down. Once again. The doctors gave her the space she needed, and like what she mostly does, she lied down beside him, hugged his now-thinner body, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. And in that position, she faded to sleep.

 _Can I lay by your side?_

 _Next to you, you_

 _And make sure you're alright_

 _I'll take care of you_

 _I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight_

Song: Lay Me Down by Sam Smith


End file.
